


The Fifth and Sixth Time

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Band Break Up, Break Up, Future Fic, Lots of Angst, M/M, Sad, ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-04
Packaged: 2017-12-28 09:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/990612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some people aren’t as expressive with emotions as others. Some speak exactly the way they feel, some dont. But the times they do, those are the times worth remembering. These are the times Niall remembered.</p>
<p>The fifth and sixth time Zayn said I love you didn’t work, because it ended up leading to the most traumatic experience of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fifth and Sixth Time

**Author's Note:**

> A/n: Hello you guys :) I would really appreciate it if you guys read this on wattpad, so you’d know when I update, and please vote and comment there because my wattpad seems dry and this is up there too.  
> Read when he said I love you on wattpad.

**The fifth and sixth time**

The fifth and sixth time Zayn said I love you didn’t work, because it ended up leading to the most traumatic experience of his life.

 

It was one of those days Zayn was getting a bad feeling. Things weren’t going well; they weren’t going well at all.

He knew relationships weren’t always sunshine- he knew that very well, growing up with his parents. He knew everything wasn’t always rainbows and butterflies. Relationships needed things. Relationships required compromise. And he agreed to that, and so did Niall.

But things were getting worse every day.

Fights got worse, Niall would cry, Zayn would cry, and they would both regret everything they said later but they knew words couldn’t be taken back. And it wasn’t fair, because Zayn wasn’t the most optimistic of people, so he needed Niall around. Niall was his sunshine, he couldn’t let that go.

He had a lot of things, a lot of things to be happy about, he knew deep down inside that his main source of happiness was Niall and Niall only, and his sunshine was feeling like a dark fog was suffocating him. Even  the times they had sex (Which had reduced significantly from earlier) Zayn felt like he was losing a connection, like he didn’t know whether it was him or Niall but in every moment a fragment of their relationship was chipping away.

Zayn figured it was because he wasn’t very open with his feelings all the time. He didn’t say the three words very often, even though Niall did, and he really wanted to reply- but he was afraid he’d wear them out. And if he wore them out, he’d plainly have nothing to live for.

But he did love Niall. He loved him more than anything. When he was with Niall he always had that smile on his face- the smile Louis classified as ‘The Niall smile’- because everything Niall did was enough for Zayn. He loved him- he loved him so much that he would do anything for him. He loved him enough that he felt like every moment with Niall wasn’t as if he was experiencing something, but plainly reliving it as a memory because he felt like in every life before his current one he and Niall had been able to find each other, and they just got a chance to fall in love again and again.

And he remembered, he remembered clearly when Niall wasn’t around. He had just said he was going to get something from the store, but Zayn knew better, he knew Niall was upset about the fight they’d had, and he needed to blow off some steam. So Zayn had simply spent the afternoon griping to Liam about what a failure he is.

“Have you thought of like, going to couple’s counselling?” Liam tried, being the supportive best friend to Zayn. The band had broken up, a few months ago, but it wasn’t messy. It was plainly because of passing times, and people losing interest, as they’d expected. So all the five boys were still close as ever, but they’d all set their careers in different directions.

“ _Liam!”_ Zayn said, absolutely horrified. “Couples counselling is for married couples who can never work things out, Niall and I are not like that!” He said. And the face Liam made was sympathetic, but Zayn could judge that at the end of the day, they probably were.

“Are we?” He said, and Liam didn’t respond, simply shifting his eyes in another direction.

“I love him, Liam. So much, so much more than I say, so much more than that.”

Liam bit his lip and looked at him. “Then whatever you do, don’t let him out of your grasp.”

And Zayn really wished he hadn’t.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Niall said, eyes red rimmed and raw from crying. “Niall, please, please.” Zayn said. “Please don’t leave me, I promise we’ll fix it, I promise we’ll fix all of this, just please.” He begged, crying again as he tried to take Niall’s hand but the boy moved away.

“I’m sorry, I can’t- I can’t do this anymore. It’s like we’re different people Zayn, I just, I just can’t take this. And it’s not fair to you if I leave you to a relationship with a doubtful person, you don’t deserve that, please, just listen to me.”

“Niall I’m not going to listen to you! How do you think this is good for either of us? I need you in my life, you can’t, and you can’t walk out like this. You can’t do this to me. Please don’t do this to me.” He whispered the last part, feeling a new batch of tears forming as Niall shook his head.

“I’m sorry Zayn, I’m so, so sorry.” Niall said. “I just want you to be happy.” He said.

“And you think you’re going to achieve that by leaving me?” Zayn shot at Niall, eyes filled with pain. “I’m sorry.” Niall said, grabbing his bag. “I have to go, I just have to. Please never stop being you Zayn. Please don’t okay? Because there’s so much more to you than anyone knows, so much more than you know. You’re the single greatest person I’ve ever met; don’t let anyone ever convince you otherwise.” Niall leaned forward, wiping away a few tears that had managed to slip out of Zayn’s bloodshot eyes. “Please don’t leave me Niall.” Zayn repeated, making eye contact with Niall. “Please don’t.”

“Just remember that you’ll always that the same boy for me okay? That no matter how rich or how famous we got, you’ll always be the same quiet, beautiful person I fell in love with. You were my first love, and you’ll always be that to me. Always.” Niall said, and Zayn just looked at him, face unchanged.

“I love you.” he said simply, staring at Niall, hoping he would stay, and love him forever, being his first love, as well as his last. He could literally feel his body crumble as he heard the door close, sobbing as he fell to his knees. He screamed, at least as high as he could, his throat sore from the crying and the pain swelling in his chest.

“I LOVE YOU!” he screamed out, his voice blood curdling as he remained a questionable mess on his floor.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Im sorry
> 
> Feedback x  
> -Rachel


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